The Times.

I love the fact that I kept a diary when I was younger. When I read through the entries from various years of my life I get to see how I've changed, but something I love even more than that is to see the ways I haven't changed at all. It's true, there's a lot of cringing involved when I read through it, but every now and then I read an entry that makes me feel just a little proud of myself. It reminds me of the goals I set as a youngster, and even though I'm no where even close to achieving them, I realise I've made progress.
I love the fact that when I was sixteen I my goals were to study hard, be a nice person, be patient and accepting. These are still my goals. Sure, there are a few more tacked on the list these days, but in essance it's the same. I don't think this is a bad thing in the slightest. Change is great, but with goals like these it's unneccessary.
I love reading about what I thought I wanted to be. Sixteen year old Jessica wanted to go to University half way across the world, she wanted to study art and atrophysics, but be a psychologist by day, and sip hot chocolate from the finest cafes in France. I had a "List of People I Want to Marry." Including a whole bunch of B list celebrities from ABCTV. Sixteen year old me had to write everything down just to sort it out. Twenty year old me is studying at tafe, to be an electrician, I hate the idea of France and can't even fathom the idea of marriage due to a horrid fear of committment and a habit of changing my mind at the drop of a hat. Twenty year old Jess doesn't write anything down, she just pushes it down so it goes away. Basically I'm not anywhere near where I planned to be, but you know what, I love that fact.
I love that I don't keep a diary like I used to, because it means nothing is so wrong that I need to get the pen and paper out to figure it out. I love that I'm not half way across the world, because it means I appreciate everything I have here in front of me more than I ever did four years ago. I love that I'm studying to be an Electrician, simply because I never EVER saw it coming. And i love that I'm scared of committment, because it means I won't rush anything.
I'm just so glad that I can make the assessment that, yeah, I'm doing pretty well considering. I may hae changed, but all the important things have remained. I still try every day to be a better person than I was the day before, and frankly I'm impressed that sixteen year old me was doing that too. I still give everyone a fair go, even when they give me absolutely no reason to trust them. I'm much more carefree now, and I think I enjoy myself more. And if every four years I can notice more positive change in myself, then I think I have a very happy life ahead of me.